Since I’m totally inspiration free today…

Posted: November 17, 2006 in Jokes

I’m just copying. Some snappy come backs for people who annoy he hell out of you.

  • Ok, Ok! I take it back, Unfuck you!
  • You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
  • How many times to I have to flush before you go away?
  • Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  • Well aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine!
  • Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after
  • Do I look like a fucking people person?
  • This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting (my personal favourite)
  • I started with nothing and I have most of it left
  • I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me
  • You! Off my planet!
  • Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose
  • Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self control.
  • Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  • And your cry-baby, whiney-ass opinion would be?
  • I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a bad mood for the past 30 years.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service I offer. (that was obviously written for me!)
  • Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  • Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  • I’m not your type, I’m not inflatable
  • Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
  • Back off! You’re standing on my aura.
  • Don’t worry, I forgot your name too.
  • I just want revenge, is that so wrong?
  • I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
  • Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  • Not all men are annoying; some are dead.
  • Wait… I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  • Chaos, panic and disorder… my work here is done.
  • Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
  • You look like shit, is that the style now?
  • Earth is full. Go home
  • Aw, did I just step on your itty bitty ego?
  • I’m not tense, I’m just terribly terribly alert (this one’s for ChooChoo)
  • A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.
  • You are depriving some village of its idiot.
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Comments
  1. ticknart says:

    Unfucking sounds painful.

  2. Jazz says:

    You know, I never thought of that, but damn, it does.

  3. choochoo says:

    I’m here and I’m commenting. You know, ’cause I’m so alert and all.

  4. Jill says:

    “A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.” This one made me snort out loud. Now my office-mate is looking at me funny and probably expecting an explanation. She’s not going to get one…. 🙂

  5. Steven Novak says:

    That village is better off without me. ;)Steve~

  6. Jazz says:

    Choochoo – you’re so damn alert you’re scaring me. All sharp objects should be kept far far from you.Jill – Your office mate surely doesn’t deserve an explanation.Steve – Yeah, but we’re stuck with you now! :-p

  7. foxtrot says:

    Love them, especially You!! Off my planet! I’ve used it already :)My thanks to the person who sent it to me as well…

  8. choochoo says:

    Uhm…. Sharp objects should be kept away from who now?

  9. Big Brother says:

    You could also try, “Does this look like a face that cares?””My heart bleeds for you, just look at the blood on the front of my shirt.”andRub two finger together and tell them…”this is the world’s smallest violin playing just for you.”Use them sometimes when my students come up with a particularily bad excuse for work not done… if their excuse is creative at least I smile when I give them a detention…;o)

  10. Hageltoast says:

    hey chick, i’m tagging you, go see my 7 songs post. ;)mwah!

  11. Too_Lively says:

    I have intended to make it over here for some time. At least I’ve accomplished one thing this morning.

  12. Jazz says:

    Big Bro – I bow down before thee, master of the snappy put down.Toast – I have no favourite songs right now.Too Lively – Accomplishing one thing on a Monday morning is more than enough for anyone. I’m honoured to be your accomplishee

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