Birthdays and Mush

Posted: April 24, 2007 in Uncategorized

Sunday was Big Brother’s birthday And yesterday I wrote a cool blog for it. As I was hitting publish the electricity blew out. Some yahoo repairing something in the building provoked a blackout that lasted all day. So no birthday blog yesterday.

Now, had BB not once again managed to turn off his comments I would not have been forced to write the birthday blog. But today, since I’m totally lacking in inspiration I will recreate it, albeit belatedly. The things I do for my brother! Sheesh.

BB is a good brother to have. A significant percentage of my sarcasm and cynicism was learned from him. He taught me well. Without him I might have become one of these Pollyanna types. Chipper and saccharine nice, feeling nauseous at my sweetness every time I opened my mouth. For this I thank him.

He tortured me of course, as all big brothers are wont to do. It’s part of the job description I think. But since he also paved the way with the parental units (along with JazzSis, who was no slouch in the torture of little sisters department), I forgive him. He was very useful in the “Aw c’mon let her go to ___________ (whatever social event I had my heart set on; they were few and far between since even then I was not a social creature), what could happen?” If only the parents had known! There was never ever any danger of anything happening to me. My absolute nerdiness protected me from any and all of the real fun stuff.

We went to the same Cegep*, BB and I. Had some of the same teachers. More than once, upon hearing that we were siblings the reaction was “Oh My God! Not another one!” Keep in mind that this was seven or so years later. He was remembered. And suddenly I had a quasi-reputation to uphold. I, Jazz, who had never even been enough of a blip on the radar to actually register a smidge of a shadow of a reputation! Here, suddenly, I had a chance to reinvent myself. BB’s reputation paved the way. I never became one of the cool kids (there are limits to what you can accomplish in school, teenagers know what material you are made of), but I did leave a good part of the nerdiness behind.

One of BB’s most memorable coups was sending in the Mormons. He had started a discussion on the existence of god with them and, for some reason known only to his bizarre self, given them our address. So, like clockwork, the Mormons would show up, wanting to convert him. He was never there of course, he didn’t even live at home anymore if I recall. To this day I’m sure he did it to annoy me. I finally had to kill him off, but even then, those wholesome, clean cut Mormon “elders” (what’s with that, they were all of 20 at most) wanted me to pray for his soul with them. “What soul”, I asked? Oh, and for the record, a good method to get rid of Mormons and Jehovah’s witnesses is to tell them you’re a Satanist. Never fails. Unfortunately I learned that less many years later.

Alert: Mushiness ahead.

Despite the fact that we don’t see each other much – mostly through our blogs – I know I can always count on BB for anything. He’s a good man, a good husband (or so I suppose since he’s been with Ms. BB for almost 30 years), a good dad and a great brother, ’cause despite all the torture and abuse, I did neglect to add that when he was 13 or 14 he’d actually let me tag along with him and his friends (probably to torture me more, but still). I love you Bro.

Whoa! Snap out of it Jazz!! Maybe he didn’t teach me so well. I seem to have gotten rather maudlin there for a minute. Glad I’m over that.

* In Quebec, Cegep is equivalent to the last year of high school and the first year of university for the general program. There is also a 3-year technical program for those not interested in uni.

  1. choochoo says:

    Polyanna, eh? I would have had to have you put down…

  2. Big Brother says:

    Thanks li’l sister…. I blush at the compliments, you were scaring me there for a moment getting all maudlin and mushy… I’m glad that you’re back to your usual crusty self. ;o)

  3. ticknart says:

    Oh, come on, you know you love to play the glad game.I can tell.

  4. Jazz says:

    Choochoo – Yeah, really. Pollyanna as an evil sidekick to the dominatrix of the universe? Not so much, eh?BB – The maudlin serves to destablize. It’s all thought out. And it works!Ticknart – shudder. Oh, and for the record, the book has not yet arrived. Waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

  5. Ian Lidster says:

    What a nice sibling testament. I really enjoyed reading it.Ian

  6. Evil Spock says:

    Wish him a evil b-day from Evil Spock. As a present, he has full readership privleges to The Few.

  7. Smalltown RN says:

    Oh happy birthday big brother….what a wonderful post on his behalf….nice little sister….Thanks for dropping by my blog….

  8. Jazz says:

    Ian – ThanksEvil Spock – I’ll send him overRN – Nice? Bwaahahahahahahaa… damn my evil reputation is in jeopardy.

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