More Petty Annoyances

Posted: June 21, 2007 in Uncategorized

    After last Friday’s scary happy happy joy joy meltdown, I thought this could serve as an antidote for myself and others. Here then, without further delay are the petty annoyances of the week.

    • Awesome. The word awesome implies that something fills you will awe. Your t-shirt is not awesome. Your nail colour is not awesome. The Grand Canyon is awesome, as is the pyramid of Kheops. The misuse of this particular word drives me to distraction. The next time I hear it, I might have to rip off the offender’s arm and beat him or her to death with the bloody end. It’s the grammar/vocabulary whore in me.
    • Cutesy blogs written from the point of view of a pet. I have no problem with an entry written by the family pet every so often, they tend to be hilarious and I’ve been trying to get Mr. Jazz to write one for some time now… But all the time? No. I’m all for anthropomorphizing animals, but give it a break already.
    • And for the record, they’re animals, not Furbabies!!! Or Furboys or Furgirls… ANIMALS!
    • The fact that for the past few weeks, half the time Blogger insists it has posted my entry when, in fact, it hasn’t. And along with that, the fact that I most often have to copy and paste a draft as a new entry in order to post it. If it works. Which it often doesn’t. I see a conspiracy. They’ll soon tell me, “Well it wouldn’t be a problem with a paid subscription.”
    • Angelina Jolie. I am heartily sick of the woman and the saintly image the media have bestowed upon her. Can we please have a break from Angelina, Paris, Lindsey and other assorted “stars”? I long for the days of Audrey Hepburn and other classy stars.
    • People who act like martyrs and seem very happy wallowing in their misery. Don’t get me wrong, I can wallow with the best of them. Ask Mr. Jazz. But at one point (hopefully sooner rather than later) you have to pick yourself up and give yourself a good swift kick in the butt. Like the “awesome” people, those who whine and moan and bitch without ever taking any steps to actually fix what is wrong drive me to distraction. If you’re not going to at least try do do something about it, shut the hell up, stop with the heavy sighs, and let the rest of us get on with our lives . I know, I’m being harsh, but there you go.
    • And always and forever, rude cellphone pod people.
    1. ticknart says:

      Is a t-shirt with a picture of the pyramid of Kheops awesome?And in your second one, are you suggesting that Mr. Jazz is your pet?

    2. Ian Lidster says:

      Oh, Jazz, you are such a person after my own heart. Here you went and dissed Angelina and I was going to write a blog about ‘sugar lips’ myself. She can’t even get along with her own father, but she wants to adopt half the planet. She hates her father because he screwed around on her mother. Uh, Angelina, can you spell hypocrisy? Maybe Jennifer could help you with that.And ‘awesome’s’ inappropriate use. Thank you for that too. It also makes me want to smack the utterer.You just made my day.Ian

    3. Josie says:

      Angelina Jolie is extraordinarily beautiful, but that doesn’t make her an expert on world politics, or even a good actress. I keep wondering what her next “phase” will be, once she ditches Brad and the Mother Teresa routine.Yes, where are the Audrey Hepburns and the Grace Kellys, or even the Katharine Hepburns? There is no one today to fill their shoes. They were awesome, heh, heh.

    4. geewits says:

      Eeeek! I say “awesome” all the time, but it works for me because, excluding my husband, the two people I talk to most often are 22 and 31. When I use it, it means “really freakin’ cool” which takes up more space and has many more syllables. I’m just being economical. If I ever see the Grand Canyon, and I doubt that will happen because I have severe vertigo AND fear of falling, can I just call it “breathtaking” or “spectacular?” That would be awesome.

    5. Voyager says:

      Awesome post Jazz!V.

    6. Dorky Dad says:

      My furbaby thinks that this post was totally awesome. I was going to let him tell you but he’s currently cuddling up next to Angelina Jolie.

    7. Jocelyn says:

      Ruff, ruff. This is Angelina Jolie’s puppy here, just writing to tell you that your blog is *awesome*. Gotta pad over to my doghouse now and answer my cell phone. Woof.

    8. Hageltoast says:

      dude, i think angelina jolie is like totally AWESOME!!! also, my furbabies are starting a new blog, it’s called “in the rathouse”.well, did you think I could resist? mwahahahahahaactually i do like angie jolie but only because i have a thing for her, and i use awesome way too much, which you probably noticed, but i thought it was a good post and it made me laugh.

    9. Jazz says:

      Ticknart – In one word: NO. And aren’t husbands always pets?Ian – I’ve always found that hilarious how she took off with someone else’s husband and hates her father ’cause he screwed around. Another of life’s little ironies.Josie – well, she did the blood in a vial thing with Billy Bob, now the mommy thing with Brad…. hell, your guess is as good as mine. Maybe we should start a contest to see who can come up with the best “next phase”.Geewits – I hereby grant you special license to say “awesome”. But just you.Voyager – I just might have to rip an arm off here to show you people just how serious I actually am.DD – DittoJocelyn – Double dittoToastie – You I’ll just come out and say it cause I know you and it won’t insult you: SHADDAP!!!

    10. Lhianon says:

      i’ll try not to use awesome any more…… than at least once a day specifically in your prescenceevery time i talk to you.*grins*

    11. Jazz says:

      Lhia – You can always use awesome in regards to me. Jazz (notice the royal third person her) is Awesome-ity personified.Or something.

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