My Own Olympic Rant

Posted: August 13, 2008 in Rant

For the past few days we’ve been olympicized non stop. I used to be a big fan of the Olympics back in those days when I was young and impressionable. Now I’m an old cynic, so not so much.

Except maybe for the swimmers. The male swimmers. They have such exquisite bodies. I am still mightily impressed. Oh my…

Moving on.

Speaking of male swimmers, Mr. Jazz sent me the link to this blog by Patrick Lagacé (a favourite of mine) on Cyberpresse.

It struck me when I read the post that today’s athletes are indeed more machine than human, and perhaps that has contributed to dulling the appeal of the games.

Compare Phelps:

To Mark Spitz

(Photos were poached shamelessly from Lagacé’s post. But they had to be translated into English ’cause y’all speak just English for the most part, so would you have gone into the post to check? Yeah, you would’ve, but hell, a post looks so much better with pictures, and putting them here makes it that much easier for all involved and yet again I digress. As usual.)

In 30-some years the change is amazing. Mark Spitz looked like a human – well except for the ‘stache. And the speedo with the well placed stars….

Yep, the change is amazing. But mostly scary.

If I want to watch machines compete, I’ll go see a Formula 1 race.

The records broken today couldn’t even have been reached 30 years ago. And I can’t believe it’s all because of nutrition and training methods. That’s a load of crap.

Athletes are doing things beyond what it seems a human should be capable of. All those drugs are showing big time – they might just catch 50 or so athletes at it because someone has to be made an example of, but pretty much all of the star athletes must be on some kind of performance enhancing drug. And we’re not talking Vitamin A, C or E.

Some minor athletes end up taking the fall in order to put up a show, but really, who are we kidding.

What’s the point of pretending it’s not going on? What’s the point of pretending to try and stop it? Because of the money involved, I’m not sure that the organizations really care to stop the drugs. It does make for a good show after all.

So why not just legalize the damn stuff since everyone is doing it – some more successfully than others.

Why not just stop the hypocrisy and say, yep, the athletes are all drugged up which gives their performance a boost, thus giving y’all those superhuman records and a chance to cheer insanely for your favourites.

At least spectators will know exactly what they are getting.

Meanwhile in Canada, the media are starting to grumble because we haven’t managed to grab a medal yet. There are two schools of thought:

– We’re doing good because we’re in the top 6 or 7


– We’re paying for medals not for top 10.

Seriously people, what freaking difference does it make?

  1. furiousBall says:

    you know i bet if they moved all the swimming events to a frozen pool, you guys would kick ass

  2. furiousBall says:

    you know i bet if they moved all the swimming events to a frozen pool, you guys would kick ass

  3. furiousBall says:

    you know i bet if they moved all the swimming events to a frozen pool, you guys would kick ass

  4. I can’t even comment on the Olympics. I stopped watching it when I was around 12. It bored me then–and it bores me

  5. Kwach says:

    Mark Spitz is such a whiner. “Why wasn’t I invited? I shoulda been invited! I wanna give out the medals! I’m somebody, damnit!”You want to go to the Olympics, Mark? Buy a friggin’ ticket. And take your head off your chin in that stock photo … you look like a big dork.

  6. Urban Animal says:

    I totally agree with the drugging. There’s no way they can do it with just training, no way in hell. It’s always more, faster, stronger, more more more. I don’t watch the olympics, have no interest. And I have even less interest seeing them dissected the way they are. It’s become too big really. But then that’s just me 🙂

  7. Rachel says:

    I’ve never liked sports much. I dislike hyped up sporting events even more. I also don’t care much for athletes, but I couldn’t really say why–i assure you, its not jealousy, as I have no desire to be competitive or athletic–I think you may have hit upon the reason for it: they aren’t human, in a way. Gungho athletes, the jocks, are such an excessive amount of competitivness in them it completely eradicates any semblance of humanity.

  8. Guillaume says:

    Phelps looks like an alien, or like Nightcrawler from the X-Men. What I never understood is why would an athlete want to change his body so much for a few minutes of glory? Because let’s face it, once the Olympics are over, people forget about the winners pretty quickly. And now their career is over at 30 or something. For me, it’s simply not worth it.

  9. ticknart says:

    All sports would be more exciting if drugs were mandatory.Home runs every time the ball’s hit!

  10. Jazz says:

    Fuball – Yeah really we’d win. at least 3 times more medals… You could win the olympic spaz finger gold medal for multiple posting!Suzan – And so it goes for many people.Kwach – Really? I had no clue. I thought old olympic athletes just sorta faded away into nothingness.Animal – If at least everyone would admit to the drugs. Such hypocrisy.Rachel – I have no interest in athletics either. I prefer a good book any day…

  11. xup says:

    Canada should stop whining. Until they’re ready to support their athletes full time while they’re training, like most other countries, we should be bloody grateful that these people agree to show up as our national representatives in the first place. Also, I saw a thing the other day on TV about the Olympic pools — called “fast pools” because they’re constructed for maximum swimming speed – a certain depth, a specific number, size and placement of run off things, the size of the area around the pool, the temperature of the water has to be exactly 78.6 (something specific like that anyway — it might have been 76.8) All these elements go into reducing wake and drag which all helps to bump up those swim times — that and the steroids, of course.

  12. Ian Lidster says:

    Makes no difference to me. See my blog.Mark Spitz. That takes a guy back.I see you made no mention of Ben Johnson. Just as well.

  13. Jocelyn says:

    My husband’s built quite a bit like Phelps, except he doesn’t have Phelps’ “dinner plate-sized hands.” So tonight I tied some dinner plates to Groom’s hands, and then I dropped him in the bathtub.He didn’t sink.

  14. Jazz says:

    XUP – Funny, on the radio this morning they were talking about those weirdass swimmsuits they wear. They’re teflon coated… and are thrown away after 5 or 6 swims because it wears off… It’s a whole other world.Ian – Ah Ben…Jocelyn – drop him in the tub enough and he’ll be ready for London.

  15. jerseytjej says:

    I used to have that poster of Mark Spiz on my bedroom wall…and I said all of that to say, what? I dunno…But it was interesting to watch who has the superior undetectable drugs.

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