Wednesday Correspondence

Posted: June 17, 2009 in Uncategorized

Dear Clothing Manufacturers:

I know I’ve been harping on this regularly but what the fuck is with clothing sizing. Shopping this weekend, I varied between size 12 and 18 (YES 18!!) for similar skirts.

There has got to be some way y’all can get your shit together and standardize sizing. Sometimes it even varies within the same damn brand. Have you any idea at all how frustrating that makes clothes shopping? Any? At all??

No, sizing down* will not make me buy this pair of pants over another because I’m stupid enough to think I’m “smaller”. I am neither stupid nor small. Brainwise or asswise. Sizing down will not make my buy your brand over another, it will just frustrate the hell out of me because every time I try something on I have to try it on in three sizes to actually find the one that fits.

If anything, since I buy what fits me rather than what the numbers say, it only pisses me off and sends me screaming from the store without buying anything. People running screaming from stores tend to put other shoppers off.

Just sayin’


* sizing up to 18 won’t work either. What’s the deal with that?


Dear Blogger,

For once I’m not going to blast you. I must say your “follower” gizmo is brilliant. Since I put myself as a follower on the blogs I follow – even the non-blogger ones – I no longer have to go through every blog to see who has something new up. It just pops up automatically.

That makes the Jazzer a happy frog.

I’m amazed that it works so well and am waiting for you to prove once again that you hate me, but until then,




Dear Simons:

I went shopping last weekend. That would be June 13. We’re clear on that, right? Last Saturday was June 13.
And you had winter clothes displayed. Cozy woolens and the like. Beside bikinis.

Wool sweaters!! On. June. 13th!!!!

What the hell are you thinking? We’ve hardly had temperatures in the 20s yet and you’re displaying wool sweaters? Short of someone travelling to the South Pole, who the hell is going to buy that stuff? You’re in Quebec, no one fucking wants to think of winter right now!

OK, I know they do it with cars, the 2010 models have been out for a couple of months already. I know retail seaons and real seasons don’t quite mesh, but only a few years ago, winter stuff wasn’t displayed until early August. Again:

What. Are. You. Thinking?

Seriously, I’d really like to know ’cause not only I, but also your sales personnel (“Yeah, imagine, I have to work with this stuff all around me!) are at a loss to understand.

Please explain.

Head scratchingly,



Dear Internet

What is with all these damn acronyms? This ARE* is really pissing me off KWIM**? IMNSHO***, it’s just too damn annoying for words.

WTF****? Are people now incapable of writing?

I suppose I’m getting so old that I need things spelled out for me, but I’m CRBT***** at the idiocy of it all. I imagine it makes sense when texting, but when people start sending email full of these things it becomes FMTYEWTK******, BWTHDIK*******



* Acronym Rich Environment
** Know what I mean
*** In my not so humble opinion
**** What the fuck
***** Crying real big tears
****** Far more than you ever want to know
*******But what the hell do I know
********I think I’m going to be sick


Dear people who print cheques:

Why on earth do you print “BACK / ENDOS” on the back of all commercial cheques?

Do you seriously think we’re too stupid to tell the difference between the front (where all the pretty numbers and dollar signs are printed) and the back of a cheque?

Newsflash: We’re not.



  1. lime says:

    an someone give me an "amen?"oh yeah, could not agree more…with everything.

  2. furiousBall says:

    I just agree with whatever lime agrees with.

  3. Gaelyn says:

    I hate shopping for clothes and never knowing what size I am. But worse when I buy a 100 percent cotton top which is sewn together with plastic thread and has a tag made of maybe poly, which makes me itch so I cut them out. And who needs a wool sweater in July. WTF!I am also very bad a acronyms. But I've certainly learned a few.Great post.

  4. Bandobras says:

    Men's clothes size 18 shirt cause that's how big my neck is.36 waist 32 inseam cause that's how big/long my waist and inseam is.Easy simple. Women's sizes are just another way the corporation makes sure you stay subservient no one can figure it out you have to go for help.Acronyms? DILLIGAS.Do I Look Like I Give A shit.If you can't write something approaching english I can't read it.Wool in June?Sick bastards are among us.

  5. xup says:

    The whole sizing paradigm has me befuddled, too. Sizes have shrunk almost in half, so that slim young girls are now double zeros. What kind of message does THAT send? Also on a completely unrelated, yet marginally related topic – what's the deal with shirts and tops? They're all of the "maternity wear" design with puffy sleeves. Who looks good in that? Not even pregnant women. Certainly not me.

  6. Ricë says:

    all the christmas decorations were out at hobby lobby last week. it made me just a tiny bit nuts.

  7. geewits says:

    How does the follower thing "pop up" with a new post? Is it an e-mail?I remember a last minute trip one summer to a beach and going shopping for a swimsuit in early August and all the Fall clothes were out and 12 swimsuits were on a clearance rack. That was really annoying.I'm with you on the acronyms. Not gonna do it. The closest I get is using "u" for "you" and "r" for "are" on texts.Maybe the people that print "back" on the checks are the same people that ate the silica gel packets when they were kids?

  8. I use google's reader program (since I have gmail and a google home page). It is a great feed which automatically shows the new posts. You can even divide blogs into different folders.

  9. Jazz says:

    Lime – Amen!Furball – smart moveGaelyn – yeah, wool in July….Bandrobras – sick sick bastardsXUP – I wondered that too. Maybe it's a reaction to the way to small clothes they've been selling for a few years? Now you have to get a whole new wardrobe…Ricë – Christmas ornaments?? AAaarrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!Geewits – the follower thing is in your dashboard. you just copy the links of blogs you want to follow and you're done.Citizen – I have a google homepage and gmail too. I'll have to look into that reader thing…

  10. Jill says:

    I am SO with you! Shopping for pants should not require a pack mule to lug three sizes of each thing I want to try on to the dressing room because there's no telling what size is going to fit. I hate shopping for clothes as it is. I don't need the additional irritation of sizing irregularities.

  11. mrwriteon says:

    Hi Sweetie: San Diego says hi to you and asks when you are going to come to call. I, alas, had to come home, but a good time was had by all. Come and pay a call. I miss you like crazy, as the song goes.

  12. Jocelyn says:

    I'm a little behind and just read the post you wrote after this one…but since I'm typing from your future, would it upset the space/time continuum if I told you Blogger's about to shit on you again?

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