Back to Reality

Posted: September 8, 2009 in Uncategorized

Labour Day weekend has come and gone. It’s fun and sort of sad all at once. Let down and anticipation. The end of play and the beginning of work.

Unlike Ian, I always loved going back to school. There was a wonderful anticipation, the buying of supplies, the new notebooks an pencils, pulling out my pencil case (a leather one which my mother bought me in first grade and which I used until the end of university and still have today), the new clothes – and later the new uniform (bleh), it was all such fun. And I’m sure my mom was overjoyed too, as mothers are no doubt wont to be after a summe spent with the kids.

By the end of summer I was somewhat bored (though I’d never ever have admitted it) and school was a welcome distraction – if only for all the new books I’d get to read. I couldn’t wait for the first visit to the library in the school year. Yes I was one of those nerdy kids who loved school and thrived in that environment. Even the fact of having to sit still for hours was overwhelmed by the sheer joy of learning.

For years after having finished school, and into my working life September still meant back to school, albeit in a nostalgic way. I’d wake up one morning with the anticipation of a new year, just to realize that, damn, it was just another work day at the office.

Now back to school means a whole different thing.

Back to school means my favourite lunch spots overrun with screeching teenagers. With boys in pants seven times too big hanging below (yes, BELOW) their butts. A couple of years ago, they’d just hang low on their hips so you could see their skivvies, now, they’re under their butts, yep, they are. How the hell they stay up is a mystery I’ll no doubt never solve (unless someone out there knows and can share with me?). And they don’t even have good butts to show off for the most part. And I can’t wait to see someone lose them sometime. But I digress yet again.

And the simpering teenage girls with their too tight clothes – how is it that female clothes seem to shrink proportionally to the “enbiggening” of male attire? If we go back to early 90s huge tunics and such, will mens fashion shrink again? The girls who shriek and holler even louder than the boys and have the added interest of way too much perfume and underwear hanging out?

So yeah, sharing my favourite lunch spots with a bunch of screeching teenagers, and the bus home with another batch of them. I’m sure I was no better at that age (though I was a nerd, so perhaps I was marginally better, the nerds seem to be) relatively speaking, but I’m my age now dammit and I’ve earned the right to bitch about the lack of manners and general bad attitude of the young’uns, yes I have. They’re a bunch of uncivilized heathens they are.

And people, I have to admit I loathe them with a vengeance these days, they drive me fucking insane. I don’t hate individual kids – well not most of them at any rate, though some deserve to be hated. Individually, they’re usually quite entertaining, but as a group – damn they’re annoying. If there is a civilizing influence in their lives, I shudder to think what they would be without it.

And so, I contemplate another 10 months of hellish lunch hours. Or of brown bagging it – I dunno which is the worst alternative. I imagine that I’ll eventually get used to them again, it’s either that or I’ll have to jam my plastic fork up my nose and pull out my brains.

  1. XUP says:

    I totally agree – there is nothing worse than teenagers en masse. When mine has more than 2 friends over at a time I have to leave the house. The boys' pants stay up because they do up their belts really tight around their thighs and keep their legs apart while they walk in tiny steps in a kind of swaying motion. Like the man said, "how does this make them look gangsta when they couldn't even run away from a crime scene."

  2. Bandobras says:

    Baltimore several years ago and my dad and I were in a car waiting for the light. Mr cool gangsta teen on the side with the droops and riding a BMX bike. He started across the street only to have the jeans fall down, tangle his legs, stop the bike and fall over since he couldn't put out a foot to save himself.Coffee out your nose is neither pleasant nor tidy.

  3. Jocelyn says:

    Or take your lunch hour at 9 a.m., when they're all in math class, annoying their teachers.From the mother point of view, trust me: your mom was delirious to see you go off to school that first day. Currently, I'm counting down 'til my kids' first day on Friday. And they're relatively delightful, compared to the rest of the wankers under 22.

  4. Ah, people have been complaining about teenagers forever. We think we weren't as obnoxious, but I'm sure we were. As for tthe sagging pants, I think they are ridiculouss, too. And that's precisely why they wear them, so adults will shake their heads in dismay.

  5. Gaelyn says:

    If you can't beat them (literally), then why not join them.I probably wasn't the worst as a teen, but I certainly was no sweetheart either.

  6. mrwriteon says:

    Ah, teens. And to think I used to teach them. I loved your descriptions of the saggy-ass 'youts' (I'm using my Joe Pesci voice here). And yes, teens en masse are awful because they feed off one another. I am happy you liked going back to school, even if I do not share the sentiment. I honestly, and not to be sexist, think that girls enjoyed elementary school much more than boys did.

  7. Warty Mammal says:

    Bwahahaha!Damned kids. They need to stay off your lawn while they're at it.

  8. geewits says:

    That must be a city thing. In the suburbs the teens disappear during the day. I guess the schools around here do not have open lunch. And yay for that. I guess you saw my comment on Ian's blog and know that I also liked school. And I REALLY loved the library.

  9. Jazz says:

    XUP – And here I thought I was evil cause I didn't like teenagers in packs.Bandobras – he could have at least been polite enough to not do it while you were swallowing you coffee!Jocelyn – Oh, I have no doubt she was delirious. None whatsoever.SAW – and they'll be complaining about teenagers when they become adults. At least I remember that I was obnoxious. It helps.Gaelyn – Join them? *shudder*Ian – I loved elementary school, hated hated loathed and hated high school – not the learning side, the whole social side. Ah, the life of a nerd.WM – Living in a third floor appartment, it isn't a problem.Geewits – I'm beginning to think we were separated at birth.

  10. I HATE baggy pants and the butt-boys.Damn kids!

  11. Maddy says:

    That's one of my ambitions, to be a lady who lunches. It sound to me like this is an ideal time to move out of your comfort zone and seek out new, interesting and tasty lunch spots. I'm pretty sure that this could be a worthwhile scientific project with the aid of google maps;- identify schools and then pick the spot that is more than 500 yards [walking] away from said school and see what you find!Cheers

  12. Dumdad says:

    "L'enfer, c'est les autres" (Hell is other people) as Sartre so eloquently put it!

  13. VioletSky says:

    Time to experiment with different lunch hours – say 2PM. Or find where the nerds quietly eat (which might be harder).I've tagged you, if you wish to play – and I hope you do.

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