In the news…

Posted: October 1, 2009 in Uncategorized

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Winner of the stupid headline prize for today:

“Typhoon’s devastation spares no one – not even children”

Um… Children should miraculously start floating in the air when disaster strikes? Who the hell wrote that line?

Winner of the D’oh!!!* prize of the day:

Stephen Harper, our “beloved” PM, for saying that Canada has no history of colonialism**.

First nation leaders are understandably rather pissed off at the comment.

And in the What-The-Fuck-Is-Wrong-With-These-People file…

One of our offices has no internet today. Bell Canada cut off their service because they weren’t paying their bills, which stopped coming a couple of months ago.

Our question: Why did they stop coming?

Bell’s answer: Because we weren’t notified about your move..

For the record, the office moved 2 years ago, and they managed to send the bills for both phone and internet service for all that time. To the new address…

???

* aka the open-mouth-insert-foot prize
** no doubt he will argue that he meant that Canadians per se didn’t colonize Canada. It’s the brits’ and frogs’ fault. Won’t fly you moron.

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Comments
  1. Guillaume says:

    Harper said a few stupid things these days. He is not too keen on history, by his own admission: he said in an interview, regarding what he would leave to posterity as a politician, that the judgment of God mattered more to him than the judgment of historians. It is as if this guy wants to be perceived as a Christian integrist.

  2. Hagelrat says:

    hahahha. This is why we need sharp sticks, so we can jab the stupid people with big mouths.

  3. Thank goodness stupidity is sometimes funny. Great post Jazz.

  4. mrwriteon says:

    I love it when you do this stuff. You do it so well.Yes, there's Harper. But then there's Iggy. Sigh. Stop the country, I want to get off.

  5. geewits says:

    And doesn't "no one" mean just that? That's like saying, "Free prizes for everyone that reads this blog – even the ugly people." or "All beans give me gas, even pinto beans." It's ridiculous.

  6. Jazz says:

    Guillaume – it's scary that when the leader of a country relies on God.Hagelrat – you've been talking to Choochoo too much.Bonnie – that's its only redeeming qualityIan – where's our Obama? Harper the fundy christian, Iggy with all the charisma and ideas of a wet mop… it's scary.Geewits – Ah well, at least it's marginally funny…

  7. XUP says:

    Bell Canada is a constant source of hilarity to me. Ever since I dumped them a couple of years ago they've been hounding me with cute cards, letters, phone calls and even little gifts in a pathetic attempt to woo me back. The phone calls are the best because their phone call center people don't seem to know why they're calling me. Here's a recent conversation:~ our records show that you no longer have telephone service with Bell Canada~ that's right~do you currently have any telephone service?~ you just called me didn't you?~ are you with a service provider other than Bell Canada?~ yes~ would you consider using Bell Canada as your service provider~ no~ is it the money? because we have some really good deals~ no, it's everything~oh~ so do you have internet service with Bell Canada?~ I have to go nowCLICK

  8. Jazz: Since you are sometimes over the top, I have left you an award, so named. You can pick it up on my blog. 🙂

  9. Jazz says:

    I'm on my way Bonnie!

  10. Jocelyn says:

    That colonialism comment ties right into the whole immigration debate: at what point do you get to become the "we" who tries to stem back a tide of "them"? And who the eff makes that decision? It's so random.

  11. Good catch on the headline. I think they should have said, "spares no one, especially children – equally nonsensical, but with an added heart tug.

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