Correspondence

Posted: December 7, 2011 in Uncategorized

Dear new girl at the office,

You come here every day, sit behind a desk, doing whatever it is you do with the computer.

This isn’t a gym.
This isn’t a yoga studio.
This isn’t even your living room.

Lose the leggings.

I know you’re just 25, but you’re old enough to know better than to wear leggings to an office. Granted, you don’t look totally repulsive in them – and for that we thank you.

But.

This is an office. True, it’s quite a casual office, no need for business suits. But clients come here. Clients do not want to be in a meeting with you if you’re wearing leggings. Unless they’re disgusting old pervs, and then well, your problem sweetheart.

I repeat :  LOSE THE LEGGINGS!

Helpfully,

Jazz

  ********************************

Dear Kids on public transport,

Have your parents instilled in you no sense of “you and your overinflated sense of entitlement are not alone in the world you stupid git”? I guess not.

Yes, I know, a backpack is a wonderful invention for hauling all those school books around. Sure beats the hell out of those straps in what, even by my standards, was the dark ages.

But the whole problem with a backpack is that you, sweet annoyances, seem to not realize that you have 10 inches sticking out of your back in a crowded bus and I (among plenty of others, like that old lady you hit while turning around two days ago who almost lost her footing from the blow) am beyond tired of being rammed by your stupid fucking backpack.

Grow the fuck up and take the damn things off when you board.

Are we clear?

Hatefully,

Jazz

 ********************************

Dear World,

I’m tired, bone deep tired. I’m sick to death of the obligations, public transport, winter and the dreary grey sameness of every damn day. Just please, leave me the fuck alone for a while.

Exhaustedly,

Jazz

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Comments
  1. Gaelyn says:

    I’m with you on these.
    I love my leggings, at home. Won’t even wear them out in public, not even the post office. But when I was 25, well….. I changed dress codes at that age from the poly pant suit to comfort but not slop.
    Punch them back.

    It sounds like you desperately need a Warm vacation. Want to go to Costa Rica?

  2. MFran says:

    You’re in a bad mood today!

    But, I’m with you.
    Leggings at work = no class
    Backpack in bus = people don’t care about who they’re hurting/annoying = me, myself and I

    Hang in there Dear ! Tomorrow will be better…

  3. geewits says:

    I only wear a backpack when I travel and I am ever so conscious of it. Kids are so oblivious. I’m sorry you have the December blues. Does your apartment have a fireplace? If not find one somewhere and have something fun a nd bubbly to drink next to it.

  4. Dumdad says:

    The American writer Elbert Hubbard said: “Life is one damn thing after another.” How true.

  5. Gala says:

    Comique que je lise ton blogue aujourd’hui. Félix prendra le métro seul aujourd’hui pour revenir d’une partie de hockey à l’heure de pointe. Ma recommandation? Tu enlèveras ton sac à dos, c’est gossant pour les autres! 😉 Ha ha!

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