Yep, it’s that time of the year…

Posted: December 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

As Ian noted here, it’s Christmas party season.

More to the point, office Christmas party season. Or should that be Holiday party season, in order to avoid all those open-mouth-insert-foot moments that the PC brigade seem to think are inevitable if anything that could maybe, perhaps, conceivably, in any way possible be construed as offensive by some being from the ass end of the Ursa Major galaxy, is uttered in polite company (or impolite as the case may be).

I just had to re-read that because I sort of lost myself in my sarcasm there and wasn’t sure it made sense. Hell, I’m still can’t be sure.  Which begs the question – which has nothing to do with anything – if can not is abbreviated as can’t, can am not be abbreviated as amn’t?

What was my point? Was there even a point?

Ah yes, Christmas parties (non PC, I’m bloody minded that way).

I have my office Christmas party tonight. Luckily, unlike Ian before his retirement (and Mr. Jazz now) I don’t work in a big company, so there is no social committee to make my life miserable with parties and picnics and other such crap. I went to one of Mr. Jazz’s parties. A rented hall, a plastic chicken dinner, and door prizes. Tickets cost a bloody fortune, booze wasn’t free, and never ever again did we show up at one of those shindigs.

In my case, it’s just dinner at a restaurant. Free food, free booze and good quality at that.  And no karaoke. So what do I have to bitch about? You obviously don’t know me if you think I can find nothing to bitch about in this scenario. HA!

I can bitch about anything under the sun,  or, in today’s case, snow.

I like my colleagues, really I do. They’re nice people.  We have fun, as much as an office environment can be fun. Hell, I spend more time conscious with them than I do with Mr. Jazz. And frankly, I’d much prefer to spend the time with Mr. Jazz.  At the cottage, drinking a Fidji Martini and chatting and catching up with Walking Dead or whatever I haven’t had time to see because I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME AT WORK!

  • There’s the 70 year old guy, who stopped evolving when I was five years old.
  • The one who loves his job. To the detriment of all else – including conversation about anything else than said job. Movies? Nope. Books? Nope. Sports? Nope. *sigh*
  • The slow one. Conversation is slow, eating is slow, turning pages in a report is slow, everything about him is slow – a glacier moves more quickly.
  • The shy one, who never, ever has anything to say. About anything. Ever. For any reason.

I’ve spent Christmas “parties” sitting with these people. Slowly losing my mine while desperately trying to calculate how much time I had to spend before finding an excuse to run the hell away.

This year I have to find a way to sit at the right end of the table, where the popular kids are. And that is a question of perfect timing, otherwise I am well and truly fucked.

I might just end up stabbing myself in the eye with a fork. You get your entertainment where you can.


  1. M-Fran says:

    Have Fun !!!! I feel for you!!!

    Have a nice weekend…

  2. Big Brother says:

    Mine is tonight also but I just ain’t going… Haven’t gone in years. That is one of the perks of being among the oldest, you can be a grumpy old fart where parties are concerned. Anyhow Suzie’s company is much better anyhow.

  3. Gaelyn says:

    Sure hope there’s a follow up report on this party.

    I can’t even remember when the last time I attended a company Christmas Party. Is that because I was too drunk? No, because don’t work winters. Don’t miss them for sure.

  4. pinklea says:

    My staff Christmas party is coming up next weekend.

    Of course there’s karaoke. And games.

    I’m probably going to be washing my hair that night.

  5. geewits says:

    I hope it wasn’t too horrible. Even if it was, I hope the weekend at the cabin afterwards made up for it. Out of the four types you mentioned, I’d rather spend time with the shy one. I would see it as a challenge to make him talk. I think the slow one would bother even more than the relic. The job only guy would just make me look at my watch and say, “I challenge you to go thirty minutes without saying anything pertaining to work.”

    • Jazz says:

      It wasn’t horrible (I always tend to see things as worse than they’ll be). On the other hand, it wasn’t the greatest way I’ve spent a Friday evening…

  6. Suldog says:

    Mine is on the 21st. It will be fun, as everyone in our small office is fun. There will not be photos, as I will not incriminate any of those fun people (so long as they pay me the “no blackmail” fee before the festivities begin, of course.)

  7. Isabewwe says:

    Dis-le donc que tu t’ennuies de moi… :o)

  8. emerrube says:

    amn’t? ha, ha. our “party” if Friday. I’ll take the free food. 🙂 Leave the idiots. Well, I do like a couple of them. too bad John’s office isn’t having one this year. they went to a pretty nice place last year and since I don’t work with his co-workers…I don’t hate them all yet. 😀

  9. mrwriteon says:

    Well, Sweetie, you know my views on office parties and there is nothing I can add to this other than ‘amen’, though I confess that I was inclined to like the fact that normally demure females were inclined to wear low-cut stuff. Nothing like a bit of boob flash to brighten the decor. Men are pigs, BTW.

  10. Jocelyn says:

    So who DID you end up sitting by? And what did you eat? What were the topics of conversation? I hate this sh**, too, but sometimes, if it doesn’t suck, it can be called a win.

    Oh, and “amn’t”? Yes, it’s good and fine. Use it more.

  11. lime says:

    i find stirring the pot can be an interesting diversion in such painful circumstances. hope it wasn’t too horrid.

  12. Guillaume says:

    Boy, I haven’t been here in a while! I missed some good posts. I don’t like Christmas office parties, I try to avoid them.

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